Three Months

 
      I can't believe it has been three months since I lost my little Jackson!  It feels like it could have been yesterday.  I am slowly reaching the point where I have more good days than bad.  My biggest problem lately is my patience.  I get impatient and upset so easily at things that feel huge at the time, but really they aren't a big deal.  I especially feel bad when I get upset with my kids.  Lately they have had to walk on egg shells around me and I don't want it to be that way.  They need me right now just as much as I need them.  They know that 'Mommy is sad right now'.  The ironic thing is that they have been extra patient with me these past three months.  I am so fortunate to have such loving, sweet kids.  Jason has been wonderful too.  I really appreciate my amazing, little family!
      Elise has been asking lots of cute questions about her brother.  The other day she asked me if Jesus was in the ground with Jackson.  We have been telling her that 'Jackson is with Jesus'.  She knows that his body is in the ground so she assumed that Jesus is with him there.  It was really cute! Yesterday at the cemetery we explained to her that Jackson's body is in the ground, but his spirit is living with Heavenly Father and Jesus in Heaven.  It is a very difficult concept for a four year old to understand.  I think Caden comprehends a little more than Elise.  I hear him explaining things to her sometimes about 'Jackson being in Heaven in the sky'.
     I miss my little Jackson so much!  I think about him all the time.  We are really missing not having him here with our family right now.  I am so lucky that I do have my faith and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will see him again one day.  Families are Forever!