Gratitude

     My heart is full of gratitude lately for all the many blessings I have received.  Even though I am struggling with the biggest trial of my life I can still see all that the Lord has done for me.  Jackson was a beautiful gift from God and the appropriate response to a gift is gratitude.  It is so hard to be grateful in the midst of such a terrible loss.  However, I understand that God gives and God takes away.  We tend to think the money in our bank accounts and the possessions we have are ours, that we've earned them.  That we deserve them.  But the truth it, everything we have is a gift.  I have been reading a great book called 'Holding on to Hope: a pathway through suffering to the heart of God' by Nancy Guthrie.  One thing that really stuck out to me was the importance of gratitude in the midst of our trials.  She tells a great analogy that I have found helpful:

     There's an old book called 'Tracks of a Fellow Struggler' written by John Claypool, who lost a daughter to Leukemia.  He tells a story of growing up during World War II.  When one of his father's business associates went off to war, the man's family went to live elsewhere, and they left behind their washing machine for the Claypool family to use.  Two years passed.  The war was over, the friends returned, and they wanted their washing machine back.  When they came and took it, young Claypool openly expressed his resentment.  His family had grown accustomed to  having the washing machine, and it seemed so unfair to have to give it back.  His mother wisely pointed out that the washing machine was never theirs in the first place.  It was a gift for as long as they were able to use it, and the proper response to a gift is gratitude.

    When you come to the place where you recognize that everything you have and everyone you love as a gift, it becomes possible to enjoy those gifts, not with an attitude of greed but with one of gratitude.  God gives and God takes away.  When he takes away, if we're able to focus on the joy of what was given, if only for a time, we take another step down the pathway toward the heart of God.
     I am trying so hard to hold onto my gratitude.  I have been so blessed throughout everything that has happened.  I recognize the Lord's hand in everything and I am so grateful for all that he has given me!